Happiness is not a backup plan

Perched on the edge of the bed in our hotel room, we were anxiously watching the weather report on TV.

We had traveled for hours in the rain … our son’s college graduation was the next day … and the rain was not letting up! It was a tradition to have the commencement address in the outdoor stadium, or “The Swamp,” as they called it.

And a swamp it was! In the morning, as we left for the ceremony, it was already ninety degrees. From our spot in the stands, we could see steam rising from the ground as the graduates slogged through mudpuddles to find their assigned seats. On the upside, the rain had stopped. But I couldn’t help but wonder why wasn’t there a Plan B.

For weeks, we had been talking about choices—graduate school and job applications, just in case things didn’t work out. We snickered at the poor saps who were graduating with sociology degrees.

What were they going to do with that? I prided myself on encouraging my children to follow their passions, telling them to figure out what they loved to do, and the money would follow.

BUT … I also said that they had better consider how they would support themselves in the manner to which they had become accustomed.

Because once they graduated, they were on their own financially.

I hadn’t meant to do so, but that last sentence stifled their creativity.

My advice came from personal experience. When I was in college, I had so many creative ideas—acting, writing, fashion design, and even learning to fly airplanes! But I majored in business so I would have the credentials to get a “real job.”

The general consensus was that being an artist was a hobby and not a profession. So after graduation, I got an office job. I still loved to sew and create outfits, and I appeared on a few television shows and in some plays, but it was hard to work all day and rehearse at night and on weekends. Slowly over the years, kids, responsibilities, and my plan to be the best wife- and-mother I could be overshadowed the passion to pursue my art.

Flash forward thirty years, and some of my fondest memories are when I found the time to be creative! Even when it was hard, even when it didn’t make sense. I’ve been known to drop everything to alter a friend’s blouse for her to wear on a blind date, or design a Halloween costume the night before the contest. My husband would ask, “Why are you going to drive across the state to film a movie when nobody will ever see it?” That was certainly true … the movie might never get released. But making it was so much fun! I loved the whole creative process.

Recently, I heard someone say, “One hundred percent certainty only exists in hindsight.” Wow! I know … read it again.

Don’t wait thirty years.

Give yourself permission to follow your passions today and find your joy.

Because happiness is not a backup plan.

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Laughing, Learning, Loving

Rebecca Greene, LCSW-R