Responsive vs. Reactive

Happy Monday!

Let’s start our week off with focusing on responding vs. reacting.

At one of my first internships 25 years ago, my supervisor told me that the key to being a good therapist is to be responsive vs. reactive. I think that is also the key to being a wonderful parent.

The next time your child says something that makes you feel reactive, I want you to become aware of this.

How do you feel?

Does your jaw tense? Do your muscles tense. Do you feel sweaty and/or red? Does your heart beat faster?

Awareness is our first step! After you become aware you can use this as your red light to stop and breathe. I will take a long deep breath and walk away from my daughter.

Give yourself time to reset and regroup! After you feel calm, go back to your child and respond in a calm manner with whatever you need to say. They hear us better when we are calm. We also feel better about our parenting when we are calm.

Reset and regroup as many times as you need to all day long. The more you do it, the easier it gets.

If you become reactive, it is ok. Tell yourself to rewind, reset, and then reframe whatever it is you said. You can always apologize to your child and tell them that you are working on being less reactive.

This is being an excellent role model for your children.

I hope that you can have a reactive free week. Don’t expect perfection. Just work on it.

Have a wonderful and calm week! We can find calm in the parenting chaos!

Find all things WhinyPaluza HERE:

Laughing, Learning, Loving

Rebecca Greene, LCSW-R