📣Welcome to the Whinypaluza column called Teenage Tuesdays, written by Rebecca's daughter Ella Greene, who is 16 years old!
➡️Look forward to a new blog from Ella from a teenage perspective on Tuesdays!

Gaining Confidence

Recently, I’ve noticed an uptick in people who say that they’re “not good with compliments,” and their responses to being complimented always range from an awkward thank you to simply nothing. It’s almost like they don’t see why you would be complimenting them. In my opinion, that’s because they usually don’t have the confidence to see why they should be complimented.  

I know it may just be a teenager thing, but I feel that confidence tends to be something you earn, something that doesn't come until it knows you’re ready to handle it. It’s like you have to live enough life to be able to look back and say “I did that right” or be able to realize your strengths. Our strengths are also something that takes time to be realized. You have to fail at enough things to finally land at the things you’re good at. Then, and only then it seems, do you finally get to stand a little taller and be a little bit braver when facing the world. 

Nobody seems to have fully done this yet though. Even the most confident people I know still seem to struggle and have something they know they aren’t good at or don’t like. So, I think part of being human is having those things. Those little things we can’t seem to like about ourselves, the world, or anything else. I’ll never be the best at math and even though I’ve finally become confident in my school work, I still feel insecure when discussing math topics. 

Part of being able to be loved comes from your confidence. Think about it, you have to think you’re worthy of love in order to receive it properly, and that’s a form of confidence. That’s arguably the most important form of confidence. No matter who we are, we all need love in some form, and we all have to believe we deserve it (which almost everyone does).  So maybe, even if we all aren’t fully confident, we can choose to be just confident enough to know what we deserve. 

That’s easier said than done, and I honestly don’t know how to have more confidence. My theory is that reflecting on what you’ve done and choosing to be proud of yourself is the best way to start, and I’m slowly doing that myself.

Until next time, 
Ella Greene.

Note from your mother: Your worthiness does not come from your accomplishments. It comes from who you are. And you are pretty wonderful my daughter!

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